The day before Thanksgiving vacation and my mind has definitely taken an early leave of absence. I am suffering pre-triptophan-syndrome (PTS). I log into my email, click Send/Receive, and sigh as 17 messages fill my Inbox. How could this many people need something from me? If these were life-saving requests, would I be as dispassionate?

Serving others. As an elementary yogi-in-training, this should be my daily goal. Here, I have 17 people in need and I do not wish to serve. Apparently, I am struggling with the principle "serve without expectation of personal reward". In this case, I am expecting some level of satisfaction in performing the tasks asked of me today. A true yogi would focus her mind, stop the "chitta vritti", and just serve. I am far from a true yogi.

Put your faith in God, the higher power within. What is my purpose? My talent? My passion? Is a yogi able to serve because she's found her passion? Or is she serving in spite of having not found her purpose? Which is the loftier ambition -- to seek your purpose and then serve...or serve without regard for your personal purpose? The texts are confusing. Don't be selfish, but know thyself. Don't be concerned with reward, but seek your purpose. Should I sit beside the road and meditate? Or should I continue to work without ambition? Do I seek the light or accept the dark?